An Ode To Chick-Fil-A

Oh Chick-Fil-A

With your chicken and pickles and such

Your Spicy chicken sandwich

Spicy, but not too much

Your waffle fries

Always lacking salt

I know its those fuckin’ health nuts

It’s not your fault

I love how you bring me my order when it’s done

But I hate how the pickles dissolve my bun

How you make fun of cows

Who don’t know how to spell

But really seem to hate chickens

What the hell?

I mean seriously, what the hell? Why they gotta throw the chickens under the bus? They could be espousing vegetarianism, but no, they’re actively trying to get us to eat those poor little bastard chickens. If you saw a sign in a store that read “Rob more banks”, would you extrapolate “…and less stores” from that, or would you think “Damn, this guy must really hate banks!” And besides, I could eat more “chikin”, and less pork but just as much if not more beef. I hope I never need a cow for anything, those mother fuckers would sell me out in a minute!

And the place is always clean

Whenever I’m in it

Simply the best lemonade

That I have ever tasted

Your free refill policy

On me is never wasted

How you claim to be the first

To put chicken to bread

Congratulations to you

Your balls are bigger than my head

The days I eat at Chick-Fil-A

Are often the most fun days

But you get a big fuck you

For closing on Sundays.