Friday, January 27, 2012

The Facebook Dilemma

I hate that you can't tell if your Facebook friend request has been accepted or denied.

I mean really, if a person's feelings would get that hurt over a rejected friend request, then they aren't that stable to begin with, and keeping them hanging on and checking their friends list every 10 minutes probably isn't the wisest move considering their fragile mental state.

Tell me to screw off so I can say “fuck you too” and get on with my life.

Most times it isn't even an issue, I usually forget who I friended anyway. But when you see a person you haven't seen in 20 years and you're curious if they even remember you, you friend them without sending a message because you don't want to give it away, and they don't accept it, the dilemma begins.

So now my assumption was that she wouldn't remember me, and would be forced to message me to ask who I am, and I would pretty much know my status after that. Well I failed to consider two other possibilities: She would remember me and still not want to be my friend, or she wouldn't remember me and still not care, therefore no message and no way of knowing if she even saw the request.

So what do you do? Do you message them a week later and tell them who you are, as if to say:

(For best results: The following should be read in a condescending tone with a quasi British accent)

“Oh dear girl, I do believe that some sort of error has occured. You see, I'm that dashing fellow that you met thrice 20 years ago, surely you intended to friend me of all people. Remember, “Accept” means that you WANT to be a person's friend. But not to worry, I know that it must get confusing for you sometimes. If you need any assistance with using the basic controls of Facebook, I would be more than happy to lend a helping hand as it were...”

To which the response would probably be “Ya, I remember you, that's why I rejected it”

And there's the other angle, that I look like I'm trying to harass her into friending me and that I'm a pathetic loser that can't take no for an answer while she wonders why a casual acquaintance from so long ago even remembers her, let alone wants to be her friend so badly.

I know the right answer of course is to let it go and get on with my life, which I'll do. But it's the not knowing that gets you. Next time I'll be sure to send a message with the request, but would a “Fuck Off” button really be so bad?


  1. I usually ignore the fact that I have in turn, been ignored. I'm pretty much ok with it...after I've cried for 20 minutes, bemoaned the fates of the gods, screamed hysterically as to why I have been forsaken and then ruled out suicide.

    Love the idea of a 'fuck off' button.

    Great first post by the way.

  2. Well you are obviously a very well adjusted person, and I'm an obsessively curious person

    Thanks for reading!

  3. Hi There!

    I imagine most people get offended if they are "unfriended" but if they have like 1.2 million friends then maybe they won't notice.

    Hey, can I sign up for email newsletter daily delivery?